Kathleen Kuehns Lombardi of Mendham, New Jersey passed away peacefully on Thursday, September 6, 2018 after a courageous two-year battle with lung cancer. Kathy, as her friends called her, was born in Hoboken, New Jersey in 1945 to Marie (nee Worsthorn) and James Kuehns. She grew up in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey.
Kathy’s fondest childhood memories were forged on Fire Island where, at the time, her family owned famed beach house Windswept – which is now used as an important town community club. Kathy was recently escorted by her favorite twins, the Ray boys, back to Ocean Beach, where she was honored during a dedication of the house. She said it was one of the best days of her life.
After attending both high school and college in New Jersey, Kathy moved down to Florida and later to California. She had her first child, McKenna, in 1972 with her husband at the time Kent Lavoie. Together they had great success under the name “Lobo” and produced many hit records. During this time, she also discovered her talent as a lyricist.
Kathy eventually moved back to New Jersey, met and married Matthew Lombardi, to whom she was married to for 35 years. Kathy’s second child, Matthew James, was born in 1984. For 37 years they lived together in the town of Mendham, where she volunteered her time in numerous ways in the community, including sitting on various town boards and helping get defibrillators installed in schools. Kathy loved Mendham and cherished her close friends she met raising her children there.
(Click left/right below to see photos of Kathy through the years)
In 2005, Kathy was accepted into the BMI Lehman Engel Musical Theatre Workshop for her exceptional skills as a lyricist. As a member, she wrote both songs and plays – with a few even being performed at various NYC playhouses. At BMI, she met and collaborated with some of the best talent on Broadway. She was incredibly proud to be part of BMI, but she was even more proud of her dearest friends’ accomplishments.
Some credits accrued while in the Workshop include: Off Broadway’s “Let’s Face It,” Broadway to Beijing, the Off Broadway revue “We Are All the Same,” an aria for the opera “Esperanza,” new works-in-progress “The Stronger” and “The Yellow Wallpaper” and three musicals for Brooklyn Children’s Theatre. In 2014, she and her frequent collaborator Craig Baldwin won a MAC Dottie Berman songwriting award for their song “Basic Black”- first presented in the BMI workshop.
Kathy was a huge Miami Dolphins fan – stemming from her time down in Florida during the team’s undefeated run in 1972. She also enjoyed watching Syracuse basketball, since her son attended the school.
But her favorite activity and day of the year was the Lombardi pool volleyball tournament which she hosted every July. Everyone was always welcome, she brought generations together, and she even won a few trophies.
Kathy was a devoted wife and mother, and as loyal a friend as one could have in life. She was classy, loving, caring, thoughtful and always put others before herself. Kathy wrote the following to a good friend a few months ago: “I am filled with gratitude, for many, many things. I can no longer separate my family from my friends”.
Kathy is predeceased by both her parents Marie and James Kuehns and her daughter McKenna Lavoie. She is survived by her husband Matt Lombardi, her son Matthew Lombardi, her daughter-in-law Alyson Lombardi, her grandson, Nathan James Lombardi (born on September 7), her mother-in-law Adeline Lombardi, her in-laws Robert and Barbara Lombardi and Diane and David Shick and her beloved labradoodle Yankee.
Recently, after the palliative care doctor told us that Kathy’s condition was very serious, she held my hand and with tears in her eyes said “Mr Lombardi, we’ve had a great time together and it’s been an honor to be married to you”. I was speechless and focused on trying to keep it together for her, but I knew that “the honor, Ms. Kathy Kuehns, was all mine”.
With a heavy heart, I want to offer my condolences to you Matt Sr and your incredible family as well as your extended friends that you both welcomed as family. The honor of knowing Kathy is truly a cherished gift that will live in my heart forever. I have never met such a vivacious, compassionate and accomplished woman with Kathy’s grace and composure. Her generosity, love and giving had no boundaries. She is a truly selfless and wonderful soul. I talk of her in the present tense, because she has the gift of living with us, as we all shared so many profoundly memorable moments with her. The honor of meeting Mrs. Kathy Lombardi is all mine – as well as you Matt Sr. There is a special place in heaven for Arch Angels and Kathy will be a beloved member of that club; she’ll probably work her way to President or CEO:) In loving honor of Kathy; God Bless…. GINA
Kathy welcomed our daughter, Alyson, with open arms into her family and then she embraced the rest of us– Bill and I, Lisa and her family, my mother and Alyson’s aunts and uncles. Kathy lived life fully. She loved to entertain and always made us feel welcomed and at ease. She wanted her guests to be happy and it showed. We loved spending last Christmas together with you, Kathy and the kids. We will miss her and are saddened that Nathan won’t grow up experiencing her love first hand. We are grateful we got to know her and her warm embrace. She left a lasting imprint on all of us.
Dear Matt, Matthew and Alyson,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am so lucky to have known Kathy. To have borne witness to her light, her talent, her humor and her astounding generosity. One of my earliest memories of Kathy was her coming up to me and whispering words of support at a time that I so needed to hear them. I was already aware of her astute abilities as a lyricist, but apparently her incredible sense of perception extended everywhere.
Thank you for posting all those photos; it is good to see her vibrant again, as I know she now is, standing in crystal waters with her arms wide open. I am so glad you have the joy of Nathan James to remind you of her light in these terribly sad times. I am wishing you strength and the comfort of family and friends.
With love and sympathy, TRACY
I only knew Kathy for a short time, but in that period, Kathy welcomed my family and me as if we had always been a part of her life. She was kind, funny and extremely generous. She frequently bought gifts for my son unprompted, organized and hosted a beautiful baby shower for my sister/her daughter-in-law, and always gave us a pool and a warm bed to dive into. While I thought that I was just a small part of her life, her photos clearly tell a different story, one where everyone she met played an important role.
The Broadheads will miss her dearly.
Much love,
Lisa, Steve and Calvin
Dear Matt and Family,
Kathy was my favorite friend. There’s a good chance that she was everyone’s favorite. I don’t claim to hold the title of her best friend, there might be a long line of indignant people who would hit me over the head if I did that, but she was my favorite.
There are people in this world who make you feel good to be here. When they’re around, you breathe, relax, feel good in your own skin. Kathy was such a person. Her open face, that smile, her unmistakable twinkle, and you knew you were in for some fun. Kathy was someone who could make a drive to the market seem like an adventure and a great time.
Year ago, when Kathy was looking for a “BMI lady” to round out a girls’ trip to Naples, I was thrilled when she somehow picked me. Any nerves that I had about hanging with this close-knit crew were soon left on the tarmac. Kathy came to collect us at the airport wearing one of her “ready for anything” sun-visors, driving a mammoth-sized SUV, and by the time we all rolled out, this wasn’t a first-time trip but more a reunion of long-time friends. I will always remember that when either of us asked the other what we should bring, the answer always was “bring the Madeleines”.
As you well know, Kathy was the proverbial breath of fresh air. She had a wonderful life with you, working hard, and living well. You both have this amazing way of sharing with others, always allowing us to feel like one of the family. Your pool parties are a legend and I personally have been robbed of many a victory in those heated battles between composers and lyricists. In my family, we have earned one medal between the three of us over here, to show for all those years. Trust me—we all claim it, and it holds pride of place.
Kathy’s perseverance during her time of illness was seemingly boundless. I was in awe of her constantly, how she handled every adversity with strength, humor, and grace.
I am honored and very lucky to have been Kathy’s friend. How I enjoyed hearing her brilliant songs and seeing her exceptional work in theatre. I likewise loved hearing many of her childhood and life stories. I can see Kathy as a little girl, holding her hat and running to catch a helicopter to Fire Island, or as a beautiful young singer, recording her song.
I will always remember one day, the two of us discovering that we both brought the Madeleines. How we laughed about that. Marcel Proust can no longer claim Madeleines; as far as I’m concerned, they belong to Kathy. With so much Love,
Susan Murray and Matt and Janet Sislowitz
Kathy was not only my cousin, but a dear friend. I will carry her positive energy, love and light everywhere I go for the rest of my life. She was among the most caring and giving people that I have known. Kathy always made time for others, even when she was battling for her life. She fought hard for all of us with both dignity and grace. I will miss our long talks, her sound advice, her quick wit, her deep love, her infectious laugh and her amazing company.
My deepest condolences to all the people she loved who are left behind. Rest In Peace my GEM of a cousin & dear sweet friend!
We all have an obligation to try and leave the world better than we found it. But few can do it with more style, grace and intensity than Kathy did.
It’s been my and my family’s sincere and extreme pleasure to spend time with Kathy and her family over the past 20+ years. So many, perhaps hundreds, of parties and celebrations. It’s hard to imagine PVB without her – to cheer us on and keep it fun ! Bruce
If you are very, very lucky in life, you will meet someone you immediately know will be your friend. Your friendship does not develop in the normal way where you meet, see each other several times, start to find things in common, and the friendship slowly develops. It is not a developed friendship, but an instant one.
I was one of those very lucky people the day I met Kathy Lombardi. I have often wondered what it was that made our instant connection. I have yet to be sure, but I think it was all about Kathy. I just had the good instincts to recognize that Kathy was someone very special.
In our far too brief friendship, I came to love Kathy dearly. I loved her witt her compassion, the way she loved her family and friends, her joy in spending time with Matthew and his friends, her strength so evident when she lost McKenna and dealt with her battle with cancer. I loved how she laughed when telling a story, and I just loved that sparkle in her eyes. It was devastating to see that sparkle dim at times but just mention Matt, Matthew Alyson, or her dearly anticipated grandchild , and there it was again!
I will miss Kathy my whole life, but I know that a friend as precious as Kathy was to me is only a thought away. She has left indelible memories and for that I am truly grateful and truly blessed.
Kathy was like another mother to us and our whole crew. Always welcoming us into her home and putting up with our antics. The fun has never ceased at the Lombardi house…from high school to the present. Also her bean dip recipe is phenomenal!! She will be dearly missed. All our love to the Lombardi family.
There are no words than can express my sorrow on the loss of your beloved wife. Please know that my thoughts and prayers, along with those of my wife and son, are with you and your family. God bless you.
I was in class at BMI with Kathy and had the wonderful gift of working with her on a collaboration. Kathy was such a generous and empowering writer and showed such encouragement to all of us that knew her. Through her example she helped all of us to strive to be better. I especially felt a strong attachment to her and became to rely on her wisdom, warmth, and funny dry wit to help me through challenges in my life. I am so blessed to have known her and heart broken that I won’t get to her her wonderful laugh again. Thank you, Kathy. It was truly an honor to know you, and my heart goes out to all of her family on her loss.
Our losing Kathy is at the top of the list in the Life-Isn’t-Fair category. We haven’t known Kathy as long as many others, or even as closely, but we have definitely known her to be an amazingly positive, caring, generous, talented, and genuinely good person. Anyone who has ever had a conversation with her felt her sincere interest, her full engagement, and her insightful focus. From the pool parties with the delicious food and fierce games of Family Feud, to her beautiful music and her interest and help with Alec as he pursues a similar direction, she has been a wonderful friend in our lives. We are thinking of her often and we will always miss her presence. – Jeff, Debbie, Alec, Will, and Charlotte
I have worked for the Lombardi’s for over nine years. Kathy was so nice, kind, and generous not only to me but to everyone around her. She loved do have parties and planned everything out to the tee to ensure everyone was having a good time, everyone loved Kathy’s cornbread she would make for her parties. I will miss all her kind words and compliments she would give me all the time. My thoughts are with the Lombardi Family at this time of sorrow.
Kathy was a huge part of what made our community feel like a loving and caring place. She led from the heart. She knew how to have fun. She was generous and kind. It wasn’t just a pool party when we were with Kathy… it was a way of loving. We miss her terribly.
Love and light — Beth & Ritt
Matt, I’m incredibly sorry for your and your children’s loss. There are really aren’t any great words at a time like this but please know that you, your family and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you strength and peace. God Bless. Anne
Kathy embraced those who knew her. At the BMI Workshop, where I knew her, the happiness quotient increased when she was in the room. Supportive and wise, she both embraced her colleagues and told the truth.
Her annual parties were both a generous gift and a pillar of the workshop as a community.
When Stephen Randoy and I presented a semi-staged reading of our J. Edgar Hoover musical, Kathy went out of her way to bring ‘civilian’ friends with her. She shared the collective praise of her and her group for our show. It was an embrace to us and of our work.
Her own work outlives her. Her collaboration with Craig Baldwin produced some exciting work demonstrating what a good musical adds to its source material. I could not help but think of her work very recently (before I knew the sad news) when my husband and I were in Scandinavia.
For as a verbose person as I am, it took me many moments where I put pen to paper, and had to stop and start over again. Expressing what Mrs. Lombardi meant to my life just isn’t easy. Comfort/love/laughter/heart, those are a few words that continue to come to me as I’ve reflected on a woman who had such a vibrantly powerful and profound affect on my life. From the first time she picked me up for pool volleyball to this year when she said “idon’t know what you have prepared but I’d really love for you to reread my favorite poem you wrote for us a few years ago, I printed it and left it in the top drawer of my office” I don’t come from the tristate area, and Mrs Lombardi was often my cure for homesickness and the love one feels from a motherly women, she embodied that to me, and I’ll cherish her time around the pool, around her friends, and her family who she adored much like we all adore her. She just made you want to be a better more kind, benevolent giving human being. With all my love and prayer, thank you Mrs Lombardi for having been this to me and so many others. I look forward to pool volleyball up above the clouds, please have that poem printed out for me. Mark Hebert
There a few people you meet in your life that you have an immediate connection with. People who listen to you and actually hear what you are saying; who make you feel what you are saying is important. Kathy was someone that you can look at and without saying a word immediately start laughing because you both know you are thinking the same thing. Kathy was one of those rare individuals. We will miss her smile.
I had the privilege of calling Kathy my friend for the last decade. She was such a positive, talented woman. She welcomed my family with open arms to her home and made us feel part of her extended family. We will all miss her so much. I was thrilled that she was able to attend my daughter’s bridal shower this summer. Sharing that occasion with her made it even more special to both Carolyn and me. Her courage through her illness was inspirational to all her knew and loved her. I wish I could thank her through all the wonderful times we shared.
We will hold her family in our thoughts and hearts during this difficult time.
Barb Gill
Kathy and I started out at BMI the same year. Her talent stood out early on; she wrote the lyrics to a song that was on the surface about gardening but was full of witty double entendres and a fabulous concision of language. I remember it ended with the words “weed it and reap,” and there were gasps of appreciation. She was a star.
She was a warm, funny, generous person and will be very much missed.
My deep condolences to her family.
Thoughts about Kathy – September 28, 2018
Aunt Kathy, as she was known in our family, was that very special family member that we got to choose for ourselves approx. 20 years ago. I believe Aunt Kathy felt the same.
Kathy became an integral member of our extended family being present at many, many holidays, birthday celebrations, softball, basketball, soccer games, Jack & Jill parties, engagement parties, weddings, on and on.
Several years ago, Kathy hosted a surprise birthday party for my wife on Kathy’s actual birthday and never mentioned to anyone that it was her birthday. Being so thoughtful, she didn’t want the focus shifted away from Celeste.
Kathy was so involved in hosting these parties – hundreds of them – even when she was sick, that we dubbed her “The Party Queen” this past July at a Pool Volley Ball awards ceremony. Mark Hebert and I serenaded Kathy with a remix of ABBA’s Dancing Queen.
“Party Queen Feel the beat from the volleyball, oh yeah, you can play, you can dive. Having the time of your life Kathy. See that girl Kathy. Watch that scene Kathy. Dig-in the party queen.”
It was poorly done but it brought a huge smile to Kathy’s face at a time when smiles were priceless.
While my family and I will always remember her as Aunt Kathy, each of you bring memories of her in a different light. The person that we recall as Kathy today is different to each of us. And while she is physically no longer with us, her love-of-life spirit will always be with us. She has influenced our lives in so many ways and this will continue to affect our lives and the lives of those we come into contact with…. forever.
Thank you, Aunt Kathy for your unwavering friendship, for all that did for me, for my family and for everyone here today.
You made the world a better place in your very own inimitable style.
There so many things that I fondly remember about Kathy that I wish I could list them all. However, two of the things I remember most were her passion (family, friends and politics) and her empathy. She had an uncanny ability to make everyone feel special. When speaking with Kathy, it felt as if you were bonding with her, as she seemed to understand everything you were going through and always had something meaning to contribute. We were also like minded when it came to politics and we would talk for hours about the problems facing our country and the world at large. I still can’t fully grasp that she’s gone, and my heart goes out to Matt, Mathew, Alyson and everyone that knew and loved this very special lady. She will be deeply missed.
Our sincere and heartfelt condolences,
George & Helen
No one had a better sense of self than Kathy, and she gave the gift of herself to others unreservedly. She had a remarkable ability to make her relationships feel special and personal.
Kathy faced adversity and the unpredictable challenges of her life with confident hope, and in doing so was an inspiration to all who knew her. It has been said that grief is the price we pay for love, a sentiment that resonates with those of us lucky enough to have had our lives touched by her generosity and kindness. We think of her often and miss her terribly.
David & Sue: Beautifully and perfectly said ! Thank you. Bruce
Matt has been one of my best friends since college. When he got together with Kathy he hit the jackpot. People generally tend to be either creative or analytical. Kathy was unusual in that she was very strong in both areas. I’ve have only known a few people who seem to be positive and happy pretty much all the time and Kathy was one of them. Even during her battle with cancer she seemed to accept what was happening and was at peace with it. It is obvious to all that Kathy was well liked. She had a passion for life and with her wit, intelligence and personality she was very easy to talk to and made friends easily. She was always concerned and interested in everyone’s well being. She was such a special person and I feel lucky to have known her and to be able to call her my friend. The world would be a much better place if there were more people like Kathy in it. I will miss her.
Kathy was a wonderful friend; to have known her and spent time with her was a privilege.
She was full of “joie de vivre” and always had a very positive outlook on life. Her kindness and thoughtfulness made times spent with her always special. Despite many challenges in life she
put others first. I miss her and always will.
Jenny